How do I respond? The power of "not YET"...
Have you noticed there’s a theme catching fire around the world? It has to do with a small word that’s making big waves. The word I’m talking about is ‘yet’.
So, what’s the big deal about mindset, or attitude?
It is a BIG deal, because what you believe about yourself, impacts your success or failure with relationships and your health.
Why do I care about your mindset? Because, your beliefs and attitude play a pivotal role in what you want and whether you achieve it. It’s your mindset that plays the most important role in determining achievement and success in your health and overall life.
What’s the old saying? You can lead a horse to water, but can’t make it drink!
Since all of our patients come to the office because they need and want help, it’s extremely helpful that they ask for help with a growth mindset.
Patients want to find out “why” they are experiencing different symptoms in their body, and want to know how Functional Medicine can help them heal.
Remember, the Functional Medicine views the body like a garden or a forest, where everything is interconnected. The body and mind are connected, and each part is connected to each other part, and this determines all the other choices one makes regarding their personal health care.
It takes both a positive mental attitude and a growth mindset to be successful in healing. Especially, if an illness has been manifesting itself over a period of time. Do you have a growth mindset?
If you missed our previous blog on growth versus fixed mindset, you may read it here and then take the (5) question self-quiz here.
The body is a whole being, and it is formed perfectly with the intelligence to heal itself. It makes sense to stimulate our innate healing ability through healthy choices and natural healing techniques, to allow the brilliance of the body to bring itself back to a place of balance and wellness.
Did you recognize yourself in any of the different types of mindsets from last week’s list? If you missed our blog last week, you may read it here. So, which of the following mindsets do you resonate with (Social, Growth, Fear, Lazy, Envy, Business, Dreamer, Follower, Greed, Gratitude, Confident, Creative, Short-term or Angry)? As we learned, there are positive and negative attributes for each. Many of us will fall into more than one of these mindsets; which can either be a really Good thing, or a really Detrimental thing.
But, let’s face it, none of us have a positive mindset all the time. The important thing is to combine more than one beneficial mindset with another to truly be living life to the best of your abilities.
So, today in our short series on MINDSET, the #1 Essential in our (5) Essentials of Well-being, we’ll explore the connection of a positive mindset and healing!
Having a positive mindset means making positive thinking a habit, continually searching for the silver lining, and making the best out of any situation you find yourself in.
Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges, and your health…..
We will learn the importance of developing the right thoughts and explore some tips and techniques for cultivating a positive mindset in a way that is meaningful for you and your health.
Feel free to practice some of these new skills with your spouse, children, coworkers and friends. Let’s take MINDSET in bite-sized, easy to read pieces, so that you can enjoy thinking about and practicing over this coming week.
So, let’s get started with our first skill, the Power of the words “not yet”….
How to Harness the Power of “Yet”
If we don't know how to do something, that's the BEGINNING, not the end of the game. We just don't know — YET.
The word “yet” is one of life's most beautiful contrasts. It expresses humility by acknowledging that there is something we value, but have not attained.
Simultaneously, it expresses confidence. It is the proclamation that although we have not attained it – it will in fact be ours.
It's the basis of our belief that something not currently achieved, is achievable. Claiming our “yet” propels our faith, motivation and confidence. It affects our health, inside and out!
There are so many things that each of us now do on a regular basis — so many goals we've accomplished that were at some point, things we were absolutely clueless about! But for some reason, once we mastered the skills or accomplished the goals, we too often disregard the magic of the learning process that led to the achievement in the first place.
Recognizing that we are able to do anything we're passionate about, is far more important than just accomplishing one single goal.
We've all done it at some point haven't we? – We see someone accomplishing or achieving something we ‘WISH' we could do or have, then, for no apparent reason, we make up some silly story about how we're somehow prohibited from having or doing something similar.
Of course, this is madness considering the countless things we've already learned how to do. We really need to squash the thought of “Wow, I wish I could do that” and change it to “I'm going to learn how to do that.”
We really need to give ourselves more credit for our amazing ability to find answers and figure things out.
More importantly, we must develop the habit of being conscious about our attitude and mindset. Most of the time, our learning is intuitive. We don't realize we're “learning”, we're just unconsciously figuring things out along the way. It just feels like life as usual.
When there's a goal that we consciously decide we want, we may initially “feel” like we're not very good at figuring things out because we haven't been intentionally paying attention to the countless things we've already been learning and accomplishing. In any given day we accomplish dozens of things we don't even remember learning how to do. We wake up and are 100% successful at making coffee, breakfast, brushing our teeth, getting the kids ready…on and on the list goes. We go to work and do our job, learn new responsibilities, new technologies, new procedures, new practices.
We do these things because they are part of our core values or things we've told ourselves are necessities….Nutrition, family, hygiene, employment, money, etc. Somewhere along the way we figured out how to do these things. But there was a time when we had no clue how to be a parent, or brush our teeth, or cook, or do our jobs. We learned.
So what's my point? — Mindset is what makes ALL the difference!
This is especially important to remember when it comes to our BIGGEST dreams, goals, passions and ambitions. Living the BEST life you could ever dream possible, getting physically healthier than you’ve ever been, having an unbelievable strong relationship with your spouse, getting out of debt….
No matter the topic, if there's something we truly value, something our heart is passionate about, and we don't know how to attain or accomplish it YET — we can. Period. No exceptions. Yes, we CAN.
If we don't have the information or skill YET, it means we're at one of the most exciting places of our lives. We're about to learn something new.
The common or uncommon nature of our goal does not determine our ability to accomplish it. Our willingness to embrace a cycle of learning, strategizing and taking relentless action does.
Look, we've already learned how to drive a car, check our email, brush our teeth, work our smart phone, raise a family, read and talk – trust me, we can learn how to do anything.
If there's something you want that you don't know how to achieve, just remember to put one of life's most important words at the end of your sentence and say — “I don't now how…..YET.”
Positive Attitude and Health Recovery
You’ve probably heard the common phrases and encouragements used when discussing someone’s cancer diagnosis.
A cancer patient will likely be told at least a few times that “You have to stay positive!” and “You can fight this if you maintain a positive attitude.”
Although it is unclear whether simply cultivating a positive mindset will help a patient beat cancer, there’s no doubt that getting support, focusing on a healthy mental state, and maintaining a positive attitude will help patients reduce their tension, anxiety, fatigue, and depression, and improve their overall quality of life regardless of the illness being treated.
Experts agree that positivity is 100% helpful for patients being treated for illnesses, but state that other emotions are perfectly acceptable as well.
So often I have heard a loved one say to a cancer patient who is crying, ‘Stop crying. You know you have to be positive’… However, when we make space for people to express all of their feelings, rather than bottling them up inside, it is then easier for them to be optimistic. It is okay to allow tears to flow—these can be a healthy release.
This indicates that the most important factor regarding positivity in any health recovery is that it is authentic. False smiles and superficial cheerfulness will likely do nothing for the patient, but working on cultivating an authentically positive mindset and focusing on the activities and techniques that build well-being can have a significant impact on a patient’s quality of life and their chances of improving their health and lifestyle.
HOW does MINDSET and ATTITUDE AFFECT HEALTH?
Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Optimism doesn’t mean that you have to stick your head in the sand, but it does, however, mean remaining positive about what’s to come.
Happiness is an emotion, a feeling. Optimism is a belief about the future.
Below are some positive effects that optimism could have on your health.
Increased Life Span:
Here’s a bit of heartwarming news from Johns Hopkins Medicine: People with a family history of heart disease who also had a positive outlook on life were 1/3 less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a negative outlook. The finding held even in people with a family history who had the most risk factors for coronary artery disease. Wow!
Stress Relief:
When faced with stressful situations, positive thinkers cope more effectively than pessimists. Researchers have found that when optimists encountered a disappointment (such as not getting a job or promotion) they were more likely to focus on things they could do to resolve the situation. Rather than dwelling on their frustrations or things they could not change, they devised a plan of action and asked others for assistance. Pessimists, on the other hand, simply assumed that the situation was out of their control and there was nothing they could do to change it. Your thoughts matter!
Better Immunity:
Researchers found that when a person displayed optimistic thinking, they showed greater immunity. A pessimistic outlook, on the other hand, had an actual negative effect on the response of immune cells. Want to prevent a cold? Start thinking positive!
Slows Down Aging:
Research shows that pessimistic senior citizens were 80% more likely to experience functional problems, such as less mobility, falling, and incontinence. It pays to have a positive attitude throughout life!
TOOLS for practicing a POSITIVE MINDSET
Okay, so after reading these blogs you may be finding that you are not one to naturally gravitate towards having a positive mindset or attitude. No worries, no one has a positive mindset all the time. The important thing is to practice being conscious of your thoughts and live life to the best of your abilities.
Keep in mind, that your mindset is never fixed forever – it’s merely a collection of beliefs and thoughts that have somehow been joined by your childhood environment, your experiences, and the people with whom you hang around! You can change it if you want to!
Below are some exercises and activities that you can implement in your own life, or encourage others in your life, to try in order to think more positively:
Listen to your favorite music—it’s that easy! Music has a fairly unique ability to put you in a positive state of mind, so take advantage of that fact.
Express your thankfulness and gratitude for all the good things in your life. Appreciate them, and write them down to help you remember.
Remember to breathe. Breathe deeply, slowly, and mindfully to transport your mind to a positive, calm place.
Don’t live according to a label—labels come from others, not from yourself, and you are so much more than a simple label could ever represent. Be authentic, and it will be much easier to be positive.
Check your internal dialogue, and challenge that critical inner voice to make room for happiness.
Engage in positive activities like meditation, yoga, hiking, playing a sport, or whatever other activity you enjoy.
Take back control of the things you can change—and put in the effort required to actually change—but learn to accept the things you cannot change.
Go easy on yourself. Don’t kick yourself when you’re down; everyone fails, and it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.
Pay attention to your diet, and ensure that you eat healthy food that will contribute to a healthy and positive mind.
Embrace change—it’s happening whether we want it to or not, so it’s best to embrace it. Make an effort to step outside of your comfort zone.
Travel, even if it’s not very far—the point is to interact with different people and get to know other cultures.
Journal and/or use a notebook to write things down—especially positive things.
Use positive words and avoid phrases like “I can’t” and “I won’t.” Replace negative self-talk with “not yet”!
Try the Best Possible Self exercise (imagine yourself in your best possible future, and write about it).
Volunteer and commit your time and efforts to helping others.
Remind yourself “Never a failure, always a lesson;” make every failure a learning opportunity.
Try the mirror technique—say something positive about yourself (and truly mean it) every time you see yourself in the mirror.
Socialize and spend time with others, including family, friends, your spouse or significant other, and new friends or acquaintances.
THE BOTTOM LINE
We must develop the habit of being conscious about our attitude and mindset.
If there's something you want that you don't know how to achieve, just remember to put one of life's most important words at the end of your sentence and say — “I don't now how…..YET.”
The most important factor regarding positivity in any health recovery is that it is authentic. False smiles and superficial cheerfulness will likely do nothing, but working on cultivating an authentically positive mindset and focusing on the activities and techniques that build well-being can have a significant impact on quality of life and chances of improving health and lifestyle.
Your mindset is never fixed forever – it’s merely a collection of beliefs and thoughts that have somehow been joined by your childhood environment, your experiences and the people with whom you hang around! You can change it if you want to!
All that we ARE, comes down to the STATE of MIND we choose to live in!
Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges.
You’ll see that awareness and integrity are linked to a better quality of life, and acceptance with gratitude can take you from the “okay life” to the “good life.”
Remember — this MINDSET series isn’t about the kind of positive thinking that is all positive, all the time. I don’t claim that just “thinking happy thoughts” will bring you all the success you desire in life, and we certainly don’t believe that optimism is warranted in every situation, every minute of the day.
Developing the right thoughts is not about being constantly happy or cheerful, and it’s not about ignoring anything negative or unpleasant in your life. It’s about incorporating both the positive and negative into your perspective and choosing to still be generally optimistic.
It’s about acknowledging that you will not always be happy and learning to accept bad moods and difficult emotions when they come.
Above all, it’s about increasing your control over your own attitude in the face of whatever comes your way. You cannot always control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you can choose how you handle them.
When you choose to give in to the negativity, pessimism, and doom-and-gloom view of the world, you are not only submitting to a loss of control and potentially wallowing in unhappiness—you are missing out on an important opportunity for growth and development.
In net week’s blog, we’ll identify some of the benefits of approaching family life from a positive point of view, and explore how gratitude cultivates a positive mindset in a way that is meaningful for you individually, and for your family.